by Rich Miles
April 20, 2007
Alberto Gonzales finally cleared it all up for me.
For the past 6 years, I've been wondering what in the everlasting blue-eyed hell was going on in the White House - how could they be so consistently, constantly, unwaveringly incompetent, stupid, arrogant and lacking in even the most rudimentary understanding of how to govern.
But on April 19, ol' Fredo's appearance before the Senate Judiciary Committee was like a big light bulb going off in my head. I finally figured it out:
They're fucking with us. They're, as we used to say back in the 60's, messin' with our heads. Just because they can.
I mean, really: what may be the most thoroughly incompetent performance by a Cabinet-level officer of the U.S. government in the history of the nation took place yesterday, right there on C-SPAN3, and the President of the United States says he's "pleased with the AG's performance", and Gonzales still has his "full support."
His Girl Shill Dana Perino actually calls Fredo "our No. 1 crime fighter."
And they do all of this with totally straight faces.
So seriously, it's reached a point, if it ever meant anything else, where they're fucking with us. They're just pushin' it to see how far they can go, how much they can get away with, how stupid the American people and the press really are, how much of it people will take.
Can't you picture it, though? Bush, Cheney, Rove, all sitting around in the White House living quarters, imbibing their favorite intoxicants - 20-year-old Scotch and blow for Bush, tanks of compressed Bush farts for Rove, the blood of Iraqi infants for Cheney - and gettin' shitfaced. Just getting giggle-assed loaded, and trying to figure out what they're going to try next.
"Hey...teehee...let's send FREDO up to the Senate! Man, he (snort) don't know shit, let them ol' Democrat senators try to get anything (heehee) out of him. Last time Fredo had an independent thought, he didn't recognize it and it died of loneliness."
I mean, wouldn't this scenario make a lot more sense than any other explanation we can come up with?
Foreign policy as stoner toy. Our soldiers as the butt of a big ol' joke. Our legal system as a bar game.
Now it all makes sense.
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Possible solution to Bush's problem of what to do with Gonzo and Wolfie?
Have them switch positions.
Gonzo has demonstrated he has a steel trap memory and never forgets anything. He could keep tract of the billions of dollars the World Bank loans out in his head.
And since the DOJ has recently made a big push on the sex crimes/sex trade industry, it would seem logical (to Bush)to place someone with "experience" to lead the charge. Wolfie, and his sex slave girl friend, would seem to be a twofer.
Another decision from the decider-in-chief.
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